Endarkenment II

Ha! My last post on the Endarkenment made it into BuzzFeed purely on the strength of the awesome MC Hammer illustration: "1490s vs 1990s infographic shows cultural evolution at a glance".

A bit of a follow up then... I was watching Richard Dawkins' programme "The Enemies of Reason" on Google Video (via dcscience.net) and he had a good portion of the show dedicated to astrology.

Now... I understand completely that for most people Horoscopes are nothing but some quick fun - akin to reading tabloids - and they don't actually believe that rocks and gases light-years away have any say in their day-to-day lives. But it seems that some people are reeeeaaally into it: buying books, drawing charts, attending seminars, getting paid to write columns for newspapers, etc.

So just for the hell of it I surveyed a cross-section of Horoscope columns to see what the day holds to me, and whether there's any consensus what-so-ever among the experts.

Yahoo.com

Friends or family members come to you asking for help with an argument. You can play referee quite well, though you may need to make a ruling that irks one or even both of them. Stand by your call!

Toronto Star

There is a limit to how bad a certain situation can get. Just think how great you are going to feel once this is sorted out.

United Press International

You tend to have wild, impractical ideas today. You need reason and experience to sift what's worthwhile from the merely zany. Creativity is strong and must be matched with practicality.

Philadelphia Daily News

Remain positive: Life morphs to fit your optimism.

New York Daily News

Money is always a favorite topic of Capricorns, not necessarily spending it, but making it. If money is slipping through your fingers, apply strong management skills by managing the financial portfolio. It's time to get strict about the budget. Start recording every dollar and cent you spend; it will be enlightening as to where your money is going.

San Jose Mercury News

It doesn't cost a single penny to be kind. Do a good deed or bite back an unkind word before it leaves your mouth. You will be less lonely if you consciously strive to be diplomatic.

The Kansas City Star

You might want to assume a different approach and follow through with a boss. Dig into your resourceful mind when dealing with a work or daily issue. The solutions could be endless if you just let it happen. Tonight: Say “yes.”

The Courier News (Chicago)

The wheels are set in motion by the goodness of your heart. Those things you do so unselfishly for others will produce unsought benefits for yourself and your friends.

New York Post

Appearances can be deceptive and no matter how honest and trustworthy a certain person may seem to be you must be on your guard over the next 24 hours. Make sure they stick to the facts. Don't let them bamboozle you with big words and big ideas that, when it comes to the crunch, mean nothing at all. (Me: Aaah.. I get it now.)

And, of course, the always-right Free Will Horoscope. The only source that anyone should be using anyway:

Free Will Horoscope - The Village Voice

Welcome to the Season of Temporary Insanity, Capricorn. According to my analysis of the omens, your imminent immersion in lunacy, delirium, and freakiness won't hurt a bit—and may even stir up exotic varieties of pleasure and amusement. For best results, keep the following advice bubbling and frothing in the back of your mind.

1. "Only when he no longer knows what he is doing does the painter do good things." —Edgar Degas.
2. "Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment." —Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks.
3. "All of us are crazy good in one way or another."—Yiddish saying.
4. "You are either losing your mind—or gaining your soul." —Julia Cameron.