McSweeney's Internet Tendency: "A Few Years after the Complete Collapse of the Global Economy, a Consumer Reporter Reviews the iPhone"

Much has been made of how the iPhone is really more than just a phone. And the point bears repeating, especially now that all communication networks have been destroyed in the Great Food Wars. But even in our post-apocalyptic agrarian wasteland, this technological marvel still boasts an impressive set of functions, a partial list of which includes:

• Walnut cracker
• Canned-goods smasher
• Slingshot projectile for hunting small woodland game
• Pestle for grinding wheat into flour (and flattening pemmican)
• Nonporous preparation surface for mixing blow-dart poisons
• Reflective signal mirror for coordinating attacks on rival scavenging tribes

[more...]

(via Gerry Canavan's blog)